BLACK3ACTUAL

PERSONAL MESSAGE

I am a fifty years old; happily married; and the proud father of three boys who have all moved out and started to build lives of their own.

I am a naturally open, honest and incredibly curious individual with a drive to know the truth in all things.  As a result, I have always enjoyed trying to understand why things are the way they are, how they work and/or where they fit into the ‘big picture.’  I suppose it also goes with my personality type, but I have always been a bit of an introvert.  Though I tend to play the clown in social situations (mostly to hide my discomfort in such situations, which is caused by not really knowing how to act correctly), I prefer to be alone or with small groups of close friends.  In intimate settings — where I can be myself — I tend to be a no-nonsense, matter-of-fact type of person. Unfortunately, this often causes misunderstandings, especially with my written word. It also does not help that I have a competitive streak in me and I can be very driven whenever I find a cause.  Taken together, I have a personality that tends to put many people off, and I know it.

Chief among my many flaws is the fact that I am recovering from a debilitating case of pride and arrogance.  For many years, it blinded me.  Today, I struggle with the lingering effects of my blindness, especially since I do not always see the things I say or way I say them as being arrogant.  But I also tend to go overboard in the other direction.  By trying not to sound arrogant, I can portray what appears to be a false sense of humility.  I have an affinity for reason.  While I can be emotional and prone to acting on impulse, I try to govern my life using reason.  As a result, I tend to be too ‘matter-of-fact’ for most people.  My closest friends have told me I am a lot like the character of Sheldon Cooper in the televisions show, “The Big Bang Theory.” Though I am not happy about it, I’ve begrudgingly come to accept that they are probably correct.  If you know the show, you’ll have a better understanding of what I am trying to say.  However, unlike Sheldon, I do not want to be arrogant or filled with pride.  I want to learn to be humble — so that I can learn to serve others.

At the same time, I believes I do have some useful strengths.  As I have said, I have an affinity for logic and reason, especially when it comes to spotting contradictions.  To me, contradictions jump out at me like a light in the darkness.  I also have very broad interests which drive me to learn about nearly everything.  In fact, a close friend once told me I had:  “Learned more and more about less and less until now I know everything about nothing.”  While I have a poor memory for the things that concern most people, I tend to remember things that help me spot connections.  I do not mean to say I see conspiracies.  What I see is more like clues that reveal the hidden hands that work to direct the path of human history.  It’s a lot like putting a giant jigsaw puzzle together, only, in this case, that puzzle is all of history (which leads to a confidence of belief, which then leads to an appearance of arrogance, which then puts many people off, which then… See my problem?).

I beg you, please, keep in mind that I am aware that I am a hopelessly flawed individual.  I am  aware of how I can sound to others — especially in my written word.  All I can say is I do not see myself this way and I certainly do not want to sound this way.  It’s certainly not the way I feel when I write.  This much is for certain.  It has taken me a lifetime, but I have come to accept myself for who I am and, even if you never learn to gain an appreciation for me yourself, I pray that you will at least make allowances for my many failings.

MY FAITH

I am — at least I try to be — a disciple of Jesus Christ.  When I say this, I mean that I am trying to understand and live according to the teachings of Scripture as they are written, and not according to distorted teachings of men.

I have been attending the same church since 2000, where I have been teaching a small Bible Study class for the past four years now.

As best I understand them, my spiritual gifts are to sort wheat from chaff and then teach the believers.

MY OCCUPATION

For the past fifteen years, I have owned and operated a small, one-man business from my home.  Although I make my living in a small industry, I have been blessed enough to be recognized by my customers and competitors as being at the top of my field.

Before starting my company, I have worked as an insurance adjuster, an appliance repairman, a lawn & garden repairman, a tank mechanic in the U.S. Marines and in various areas of the food service industry.  As a forth generation carpenter, my father also saw to it that I know how to build a house from the point of clearing the land to finishing the last touch of trim and painting.

MY EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND

I started out trying to earn an engineering degree.  I was one semester short of earning a degree in mechanical engineering when I decided to change majors and become a lawyer.  At the time, most people who intended to go to law school were pursuing undergraduate degrees in political science.  However, I was more interested in the law, itself, so I chose to dual major in philosophy and sociology, and eventually earned my BA in both disciplines.  I took my tests and applied for law school, but before I could start, life got in the way and I had to leave school to care for my family.

However, I have never stopped trying to learn.  I read — a lot!  And when I say I read, I mean I read things that would put most people to sleep.  On average, I read between two and five books a month, many of them quite scholarly in nature.  It also doesn’t help that I have such a wide field of interests.  I’m interested in everything from quantum mechanics and string theory to cooking and crafts.  As a result, I have found that I have learned more since leaving college than I ever learned while I was actively enrolled.

MY HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

I have too many to list.  I love history and philosophy, and I read — a lot!  On average, I read two to three books a month, usually of the type that would put most people to sleep.  I also enjoy educational television shows (to the extent that they still exist today).  At times in my life, I have drawn, built models, painted, done calligraphy, needlepoint, cross-stitching, played video and board games, played paint ball, went camping, hiking, canoeing…

In short, I have dabbled in a little bit of most everything.  🙂